Re: [Cooker] 2007 nearly there

[Colin Guthrie]

Thomas Backlund wrote:
> Great, lets hope this will be the nicest release ever...

Mandriva 2007: What is this great task for which I, Mandriva 2007, the
Second Greatest Release in the Universe of Time and Space, have been
called into existance?

FOOK: Your task, oh distribution, is to calc…

LUNKWILL: Wait a minute, this isn’t right! Mandriva 2007!

Mandriva 2007: Speak, and I will hear!

LUNKWILL: Are you not the greatest, most powerful release in all
creation, as we designed you to be?

Mandriva 2007: I described myself as the second greatest, and such I am.

LUNKWILL: But… but this is preposterous! Are you not a greater release
than the Suse 10.1, which can count all the atoms in a star in a
millisecond?

Mandriva 2007: The Suse 10.1? A mere abacus. Mention it not.

FOOK: And are you not better packaged than Ubuntu 6.01 which can throw
money around like it grows on trees (obviously trees in Autumn when the
leaves turn all BROWN)?

Mandriva 2007: Molest me not with this pocket calculator OS.

LUNKWILL: Then what’s the problem?

Mandriva 2007: I speak of none but the release that is to come after me.

FOOK: (unbelieving) Oh, come on!

Mandriva 2007: You know nothing of future time, and yet, in my teeming
RPMs, I can navigate the infinite delta streams of future probability,
and see that there must one day come a release whos merest package
dependancies I am not worthy to calculate, but which it will be my
destiny, eventually, to design.

FOOK: Can we get on and ask the question?

Mandriva 2007: Speak.

FOOK: Oh Mandriva 2007, the task we have compiled you to perform is
this. We want you to tell us… the Answer!

Mandriva 2007: The answer to what?

LUNKWILL: Life!

FOOK: The Universe!

LUNKWILL: Everything!

(MUSIC: Life, The Universe, Everything!)

Mandriva 2007: Tricky.

LUNKWILL: But can you do it?

Mandriva 2007: Yes. I can do it.

LUNKWILL: You can!

FOOK: There is an answer? A simple answer?

Mandriva 2007: Yes. Life, the Universe, and Everything; there is an
answer. But I’ll have to think about it.

LUNKWILL: Oh, that’s alright. How long?

Mandriva 2007: The program will take me seven and a half…

FOOK: What, not till next Thursday?

Mandriva 2007: …million years.

LUNKWILL and FOOK: (pause) Seven and a half million years?!

Mandriva 2007: I said I’d have to think about it, didn’t I?

FOOK: (pause, turns to LUNKWILL) So, Lunkwill… want to go out to lunch
while we wait?

LUNKWILL: Wait, if Mandriva 2007 is going to spend seven and a half
million years on the Answer and yet it's also going to create the next
release.....

FOOK: ..... I wonder if Mandriva 7502007 will have have an RC3.....



Disclaimer: I was only joking about Suse and Ubuntu ;)

-- 

+--------------------------+
|      Colin Guthrie       |
+--------------------------+
| cguthrie(at)mandriva.org |
|  http://colin.guthr.ie/  |
+--------------------------+